The Consulting Rooms.......because it makes sense

Email Link: sue@theconsultingrooms.co.uk

Private Practice of Susan B McIntyre
Qualifications: Adv.Dip.Hip., Dip.Pers.Dev., Cert.Couns. M.N.C.H, M.I.S.M.A., M.A.P.H.P.

Telephone Burnham-on-Sea 01278 784490

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Site last updated July 2007

Article 1 - Stress Management Skills

by Sue McIntyre

Stress may usefully be defined as something that occurs where demands made on individuals do not match the resources available. Everyone is different and the way in which we experience and cope with pressure varies enormously from one person to another, although it is possible to predict that some stressors will be personality specific.

There are five fundamental personality types detailed below. Each personality has positive as well as negative characteristics but it is the negative characteristics that lead to stress reactions. Recognising these characteristics in others will help you to respond appropriately to help them manage stress – so life is much more pleasant for all concerned! Link here to the Personality profiler = Using the FREE LifeMapper Personality Profiler on this site will help you to identify your own personality type and the areas of conflict that may cause you stress.

Resolute Organisational (Warrior) Personality type

Characteristics: Persons primarily influenced by ‘Warrior type’ characteristics will be purposeful, hardworking, moral and have very high standards. They are likely to be task-orientated, resourceful and extremely logical. Their language and appearance all indicate their desire to be in control.

tress caused by: Anything that indicates danger of loss of control, for instance other peoples’ perceived low standards or illogicality, over-emotion of other people, failure to achieve goals.

Stress behaviour: As this personality type becomes more stressed they will become more and more single-minded, seeing only their own point of view. They will become increasingly controlling. They may become very arrogant and aggressive in arguments and will not be able to take account of other people’s different views. They will be focused on the goals and so discount the people around. They will communicate predominantly in ‘thought’ language.

Helping to reduce stress: These are the kind of behaviours which will help someone who is responding to stress with their ‘Warrior’ instincts: -

  1. If the person is being very competitive, ignore it.
  2. Don’t get involved in arguments that are focused on comparisons e.g. “you don’t work as hard as I do”.
  3. Reassurance that they are ‘not to blame’. Be especially careful to avoid ‘unfair’ criticism.
  4. Be punctual and keep agreements with them.
  5. If you have a difference of opinion express your own values with conviction.
  6. If you have to confront them, do it gently, firmly and calmly.
  7. Show appreciation of their achievements.
  8. Give them the facts.

Resolute Intuitive (Warrior/Settler combination) Personality type

Characteristics: This personality carries characteristics like self-sufficiency, helpfulness and reliability. People who have dominant Resolute Intuitive personality traits often enjoy tasks which are repetitive and like working on their own. They are extremely stoical in the face of difficulties and will carry on regardless. Particularly when under stress they prefer not to expose their vulnerability and words like ‘one’ or ‘we’ are used in place of ‘I’ to hide any evidence of feelings that may infer weakness.

Stress caused by: Being seen as unable to cope. Being considered weak or vulnerable. Feeling insecure/disliked.

Stress behaviour: Stress tends to lead to rather withdrawn, withholding behaviour. The individual becomes quieter and reluctant to communicate.

Helping to reduce stress:

  1. Praise them for consideration and kindness because they often get taken for granted.
  2. Do not be effusive.
  3. Don’t force them into expressions of vulnerability.
  4. Don’t shout; they will retreat even further.
  5. If you want something done, give them clear, detailed instructions.
  6. Establish clear boundaries – and stick to them!

Intuitive Adaptable (Settler) Personality Type

Characteristics: This personality type may appear something of a chameleon, so good are they at adapting to the needs of others. They are usually skilled communicators and like to take care of people. They are as pleasant as possible to everyone, law abiding and helpful, concerned with doing the right thing. A characteristic language pattern is to start off a sentence positively and end it negatively.

Stress caused by: Being ignored; being criticised; not being ‘heard’. Their fear is that to be found at fault will lead to rejection.

Stress behaviour: Stress tends to generate increasingly emotional behaviour and an inability to respond to demands to be logical. Language becomes peppered with clichés and if the stress increases they will be unable to say ‘no’ to anyone. One of the most destructive aspects of this stress pattern is the urge to rescue anyone and everyone. Rescuing is frequently destructive for others as each time you rescue a person, they are deprived of the opportunity to do it for themselves and therefore learn from that situation.

Helping to reduce stress:

  1. Thank them politely for their help.
  2. Stay near the surface of communication, unless you are able and willing to cope with the amount of emotion that may be uncovered.
  3. Never lose your temper. If you are angry express your feeling assertively and politely.
  4. If you have to confront them, do it with patience.
  5. Provide them with a model by letting them see your autonomy.
  6. Acknowledge them for being the person they are as well as their achievements i.e. “I really enjoy working with you/having you as part of the team”.

Charismatic Intuitive (Nomad/Settler combination) Personality type

Characteristics: Charismatic Intuitives are generally easy-going and pleasant, fairly confident, optimistic, of a ‘sunny’ disposition and popular. They are often lighthearted but can be surprisingly changeable and may suddenly throw a ‘wobbly’ if things aren’t quite to their liking.

Stress caused by: Being alone or ignored, feeling restricted (whether imagined or otherwise), no outlet for creativity.

Stress behaviour: Stress may sometimes produce an out-of-character display of unreliability - more often than not the result of pique: "You've made me feel so bad I simply can't go into work today," is a possible example.

Helping to reduce stress:

Be direct, fair and avoid ambiguity. This personality needs to know where they stand but be aware that attempts to impose restrictions could generate covert resistance.

  1. Aggression will be counter-productive; kindness will be well rewarded. All that is usually required is to ASK!
  2. Ensure there are ample opportunities to talk and share.
  3. Provide outlets for creativity.
  4. Make sure there is always something new and interesting happening!

Charismatic (Nomad) Personality Type

Characteristics: This person will be lively; adventurous; excited; often described as “the life and soul of the party”; enthusiastic, quick and with a capacity for doing lots of things at once.

Stress caused by: Time to think; silence; having ‘nothing to do’; mundane routines

Stress behaviour: As the stress increases, activity becomes more and more frenetic. More and more mistakes are made.

Helping to reduce stress:

  1. Praise for efficiency.
  2. Enjoy their spontaneity.
  3. Never be intimidated by their outbursts.
  4. Refrain from praising/rewarding for speed or for the ability to do several things at once.
  5. Praise/reward for taking time, e.g. “I really appreciate the time you are taking over this”.


Links to Articles:

 2. A Mind to Ride - for Stress-free Competitions by Sue McIntyre- click here.

3. A Mind to Ride - In Search of Magic by Sue McIntyre - click here.

4. World Cup Show Jumping - Bordeaux February 2005 - click here.

5. A Mind to Ride – Mind over Matter by Sue McIntyre MNCH (Acc); MISMA - click here.

6. - A Mind to Ride - Resourceful Riding by Sue McIntyre Published in The Hypnotherapy Journal - click here.